I would love to be able to just sit down and write something profound. I would love to have the ability to put my thoughts into comprehensive and gramatically correct sentences. Eish I think I've been out of school for too long. There is a small yearning for the smell of new text books, the excitement of opening to the first page of a fresh notebook, and the stress of forcing the brain to be more creative and intelligent than it has been in a long time.

Then I hear about friends' episodes with university and realize that maybe I'm still doing okay with pouring tea and making strangers smile.

But it's not just about making tea, pulling shots, and baking fresh cookies and cakes at 6 am. I've learned that it takes a lot to begin your own business. So much thought goes into the preperations that one can find themselves in something quite like a maze. There has been blood, sweat, bruises, and the asking of "what are we doing?!" Yet beyond all that the laughter echos louder, the relationships grow deeper, and the experiences become wisdom.

My parents are cool. Just thought I'd throw that in there. They are probably two of the best people to work with and learn from. It still baffles me to think that we're opening a tea house within the next week, but hey. Life isn't life if you aren't prepared to change direction.

I still don't know what I'm doing with myself. Do I feel odd for not being in school yet? Yep, sometimes. Do I miss Africa? All the time. Do I want to travel to other remote places of this earth? Of course. But for now, I think God is making a spot for me to fill here in Fernie. It's a thought I really struggle with, but if He wants me here then there's no better place to be. It's just a matter of convincing myself of that...

So come by the tea house for a drink (man I could make a list as long as the Elk River of people I wish who could actually come by). I won't be able to cite Shakespeare, pages from an encyclopedia, or write even the simplest blog without error, but hopefully the love of Him will seep through this broken human, and you'll leave with a smile on your face.





In other news: I'm playing piano for a wedding that is tomorrow (ahhh!), the kids' Christmas play at church is being performed in three weeks (the leader and I still are trying to figure out who's a shepherd and who's an angel), I'm fully enjoying the new Yamaha grand piano at church (the Lord takes away, but He also gives!), and... Fernie Tea and Coffee House will (hopefully) be open by next weekend!!!

Love you all and miss you... no matter if I just saw you a week ago or if it's been over a year.

Quick Snapshots...

Standing at the front entrance

From the back wall

So... lookin' a bit different from the last time I posted pictures up here... I wish these pictures could justify all the hard work that has been put into this... Sorry they're so dark, and sorry they're of poor composition, but all I wanted to do was just get something on here because so many of you have been asking for an update! Let's hope that when the opening day gets closer, I'll be able to get in there and take some quality shots.

Love Song for a Savior- Jars of Clay

In open fields of wild flowers, she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close as a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running and fall in His arms
and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people who stare into nowhere,
and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close as a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

This Isn't Supposed to Make Sense...

I don't know what you dream about, but I bet you've never dreamed of a man chasing you in a kangeroo suit. Let me explain.

My family and I were driving on a freeway in a taxi, but for the moment we were stopped because of the traffic (sounds like the lower mainland :P). I had won a prize; I believe it was a massive flag of a hockey team (let's hope it was of the Canucks). It was only the 2nd place prize, but I was pretty happy with it. While waiting to move again, a man came up to the window with a different flag. He had won first prize, but he wanted my 2nd prize. I was devestated but gave my prize so I could get his 1st place prize.

Suddenly, my family and I were at my aunt's house. I was playing outside with a whole bunch of little kids that I didn't know. I went inside, and looked through the living room window. To my horror, I saw the same man who traded his 1st place prize for my 2nd place prize at the top of the road. He was writing down some information and looked like he was ready to explode. Oh. He was also dressed up in a huge kangeroo suit, possibly trying to blend in with the scenery... ?

I freaked (obviously) and ran outside to get all the kids inside. There were numerous gates around the yard and I was yelling at everyone to close them because of the 'kangeroo man.'

I can't remember what else went on... but take heed. If you ever happen to see a man dressed up in a kangeroo suite, beware! They can't be trusted.

:P

Kimberly is an artistic genius. She needed a model for one of her exams, so I hopped on a plane and spent a glorious week on the coast. Lots more pictures to come, but first I thought I'd show off Kim's masterpiece: my hair!!

hee hee... having fun...

color = FUN!!

Love ya Kim.. always and forever

Porcelain Heart- Barlow Girl

Broken heart one more time
Pick yourself up, why even cry
Broken pieces in your hands
Wonder how you'll make it whole

You know, you pray
This can't be the way
You cry, you say
Something's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine

Someone said
"A broken heart
Would sting at first then make you stronger"
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break

Creator only You take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again

Under Construction

Finally! Here's an update on how things are going at the Fernie Tea and Coffee House. Even though these pictures were taken only a week ago, they are already very outdated! The hardwood floor is down (it has to be stained) and the bar is in. Looks a lot different than what's showing here... but you'll get an idea anyway as to what my parents and others have been up to for the last long while. So I think everything is coming together pretty much... but we still don't have a front door. Oh well. Minor details, right? Don't I wish!

"The Building." Built in 1909 on the corner of 5th St. and 2nd ave. Please ignore the blue... we're working on that.

Standing at the entrance of the Tea House, looking left.

Standing at the entrance, looking right. That green wall in the centre is the bathroom. You can imagine the bar that is going along the wall to the right. The door opening you see to the left is the entrance to the kitchen and sitting room for EMPLOYEES ONLY :)

Standing at the back

The Beautiful Letdown- Switchfoot

It was a beautiful letdown
when I crashed and burned
when I found myself alone, unknown and
hurt.

It was a beautiful letdown
the day I knew
that all the riches this world had to offer me
would never do.

In a world full of bitter pain
and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in,
until I found out

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song
where I don't belong.

It was a beautiful letdown
when you found me here
and for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear

I'll be a beautiful letdown
that's what I'll forever be
and though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free.

We're still chasing our tails
and the rising sun
and our dark water planet
still spins in a race
where no one wins
and no one's one.

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight
and set sail for the kingdom come.
Your kingdom come.
Won't you let me down!
Let my foolish pride forever let me down.

Easy living, you're not much like your name
Easy dying, you look just about the same.
Would you please take me off your list?
Easy living, pleace come on and let me down.

What a beautiful letdown
painfully uncool
The church of the drop outs, the losers,
the sinners, the failures, and the fools.
What a beautiful letdown
are we salt in the wound?
Let us sing one true tune.

Sometimes the only way to express yourself is to scream.
I think I've turned into one of those wind-up toys and I've been wound up for too long. I'm in a wooden box and I'm spinning out of control. Can't stop. Spinning and spinning, ramming into the wooden sides again and again... I need out. I want to get away. Far away.

Oh Lynn. I found this picture in one of my files and started laughing rather hard. Why not share it with everyone else? :)


Lynn came for a visit last October when we were having huge problems with a multitude of black flies. I came home from work and found her on my roof killing hordes of them that had gathered on the windows. Haha.


Missing you terribly... Have an amazing time back home. Kiss the African soil for me, eh? ;) :P

Haha

Oh boy. The things you will find on a lazy afternoon, clicking through old pictures of times when... well... yah I couldn't help but laugh when I was looking through these... and I figured that it was about time I laughed at myself again.... so here we go. I'll share some with you too. Haha.... oh wow.

Only in Vienna would you find a giant icecream cone. Too bad it wasn't real...

This is what happens when you're stuck in Earl's with a bunch of restless teens... we were amazed at how large the glasses were and someone wondered if they could get their mouth around it...
Apparently not.

Who says Toys R Us is just for people under 3.5 ft tall? There's something there for EVERYONE! :D It's such a happy place; even the stuffed animals were enjoying themselves... ;)

...This is definitely the umbrella Mary Poppins should use. So much better.

A Weekend of Many Firsts

So I had quite an adventerous weekend. It all started on Saturday with a phone call from a friend saying he wanted to float down the river with my brother and I. Ryan and I had been talking about taking tubes down the Elk River ever since we moved here but we never got around to it. Thanks to Travis, we had a chilly but hilarious time going down the river. It got even better when we encountered some whitewater, which was probably only a Class One... but still. It was whitewater. I felt like Tom Sawyer for some reason while we were floating......

The weekend didn't end there though. That night, we get a phone call from another friend saying that he wanted to hike Fernie Mountain with a group of people Sunday morning. I was a little unsure, because I'd never done a "real" hike before. Nonetheless, I figured that I only live once and if the hike killed me, dying on top of a mountain wouldn't be so bad.

So 8am came on Sunday morning when Ryan and I picked up Aaron and headed to the base of the mountain. There, we met four others and began the asent. The first half wasn't bad at all, but it wasn't until the lookout that my fears would become truth. From the lookout, the climb to the summit was pretty much vertical. As we went higher and higher, I started getting dizzier and dizzier. It wasn't until Charles started talking about cravings for a McD's cheeseburger when I realized that I was feeling rather nauseous. I stopped, letting Charles pass me, and crouched down to hold onto a tree. Aaron came up and asked me what was wrong. Yeah well, the next few moments weren't very pretty. Up came my breakfast and anything else that had been sitting in my stomach... Aaron, I'm sorry that you had to witness all that... Anyway, was I going to head back down? Heck no. I was determined to make it, feeling nauseous and dizzy or not... I was going to defeat this mountain.

And it was absoultely 100% worth it. The views from the summit were incredible. I could see our little Overwaitea, the high school track, the Red Barn, everything! Sweet deal man.

So usually, once you get to the summit, you start thinking about getting down. Well, apparently that wasn't the plan. Us three girls saw a patch of snow at the bottom behind the mountain, and decided to go play. Good job Nadine for navigating through the bush to get to the bottom.. even if we had to climb down a bit of a cliff. Once getting to the snow, we filled a bag full of snowballs. Mission: Ambush Chromosome Y. Then we again made our way up and met up with the guys. We rock climbed our way to a little cave where Nick had dreamed (for five years) of dislodging a massive boulder down the shoot. And wow did he ever dislodge it. He actually created a mini rockslide, and the boulder ended up flying about 20 feet into the air. Pretty insane. And the noise! It gave me goosebumps.

After screening our way down some shale (which is a skill I should work on!), we again climbed up to the summit. Seeing as there isn't a trail on the backside of the mountain, I'm sure I imitated a delirious mountain goat while trying to get up the extremely steep slope.

Going down after reaching the summit was a mind over matter issue. In this case, the mind did not win. I was freaked as I tried to slide down-yes, slide... because it was steep and rocky... and it took a while to get to the look out. Once we got to the look out, I put myself in cruise control and let my wobbly legs get me to the base of the mountain.

And that was that. Supposedly, the hike should only take 3 hours... we ended up being on that adventure for 8... just cuz going up was slow and then all the exploring we did once we hit the summit...

Ryan and I rushed to DQ to grab some ice cream, I rushed home, jumped into the shower, and rushed to church. They've changed the services to Sunday evenings for the summer... and I had to be there early because I was going to play piano with the worship team for the first time.

After church, I was absolutely exhausted and incredibly sore and all I wanted to do was get home. Driving a little faster than what's recommended along Cokato Rd, I hit a ground squirrel right by the Red Barn. It was sick... the "bump" feeling of the front right tire. Poor Ryan, I think I made him deaf by the screaming I did. I've never killed anything so living before... I felt horrible! At least they aren't going extinct... it would probably do that area some good if we got rid of a few more... (they're everywhere!!)...

I was just getting over the fact that I was charged with road kill when these two little, cute birds were flying across the road. One of them wasn't fast enough and smacked right into the windshield. If that wasn't horrifying enough, my window was wide open and it flew into the car after hitting the windshield!!!! My screaming began again as I slammed the brakes, opened my door, and watched the little thing drop to the ground. I'm scarred for life, I tell ya. I still feel horrible every time I think how there's some lonely bird out there, flying around without it's lover. How sad!

Anyway, that's my weekend. Lots of firsts for me... tubing down a river, climbing a mountain, screening down a mountain, doin' a little rock climbing, playing with the worship team, and being guilty of killing two animals in a matter of a minute and a half.

Good thing it's Monday.

Here's some pictures from the hike.

This is the mountain we climbed. Mt Fernie!

Looking at the Three Sisters from a different perspective up on the summit.

My bro and I just after we reached the summit.

Everything looks so different when you're so high up!
You can see some of the ski runs on Lizard.

My beautiful, quaint, little town with the Elk River meandering through.

Leah and Nadine making their own trail to get to the patch of snow. We were determined to ambush the guys!

How could anyone get tired of that view?

Some Long Awaited Pics

Yahoo for no more dial-up! To celebrate... pictures of when I was livin' coastal style...

50 years of marriage. How beautiful.

Haha. Not much has changed, eh Lauren? *Port Alfino*
(I can't even think of the proper names anymore...)

The gourmet dinner Beth and I made for her lovely family...
Too bad we weren't there to experience the look of satisfaction and delight on their faces... Beth when you come to Fernie we're going to have to cook for my fam... haha... "out in the bush" kinda style ;) Oh! We could roast freshly hunted moose on a spit in our bonfire pit! haha.

And to think we made it to the beach in 10 minutes!
Love ya girl, missing you muchly....

Enough?

"Enough"

All of You is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and
Every need
You satisfy me
With Your love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough

I couldn't sing these lyrics today in church. Okay so I sang them but couldn't actually mean them. The truth of where I'm at? It's like one guy put it today... he saw a beautiful sunset one night while driving home from work. It was absolutely gorgeous, yet it was so far off in the distance. What a perfect way to describe where God and I are at. The relationship has so much potential for beauty but it's distant. I'm not content. I'm just going through life because that's the thing to do. I'm not satisfied with having His love only... what about wanting love from other people? I know that I'm never going to feel whole if I try and keep God in the distance while I attempt to figure out life on my own; while I try and find fulfillment in other people, in my job, and whatever else... It looks pretty impossible right now to live a life that states, "All I need is God. I find full satisfaction in Him." How can you do that if you can't let go of the disappointments, the longings, and the fact that your dreams might not His?

God help.

The Voice of Adventure- Max Lucado

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?" -Psalm 27:1

Jesus says the options are clear. On one side there is the voice of safety.
You can build a fire in the hearth, stay inside, and stay warm and dry for what you don't try, right?
You can't fall if you don't take a stand, right?
You can't lose your balance if you don't climb, right?
So don't try it. Take the safe route.

Or

You can hear the voice of adventure--God's adventure. Instead of building a fire in your hearth, build a fire in your heart.
Follow God's impulses.
Adopt the child.
Move overseas.
Teach the class.
Change careers.
Run for office.
Make a difference.

Sure it isn't safe, but what is?

Fernie At First Light

These two days have been rough. Sunday was just a disaster... but it was a good reminder of how human I am and how in need I am of surrendering all to God.

This past Saturday, my mom and I watched the sunrise. It was nice to be able to enjoy it. Even though I see the sunrise every morning when I work, I'm too busy to just sit and watch. Here's some pics from that morning.

Life can be so beautiful if you let it be beautiful. You have to believe that though it may feel utterly horrible, there's still beauty everywhere... from a friendly smile to watching the sun wake up over the mountains.

No Time

How could I be so foolish to think that this would work? How could I believe that my faith was bold and strong enough? How could I trust and have so much conviction that everything would be as they said?

Lies, lies, lies even though I’ve been taught not to say anything false. Well, what else am I supposed to do right now? And what kind of question is, “So are you happy to be back, Sharla?”

WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?

No one wants to hear the truth anymore because being honest takes time. And time is “such” a valuable commodity. So if I actually responded with, “Of course I’m not happy to be back”, that would be disastrous. Heaven forbid that they would have to find out why I’m not happy! Forgive me for taking more of your time!

But for those of you who do have time to find out the why’s and how’s… sorry. I’m tired of explaining.

It’s so much easier to smack on a smile and make something up; find the response that people are wanting to hear. Who cares what I’m actually feeling, because to be broken is to be uncomfortable, raw, and on display for everyone to see… and that just takes too much time.

I'm back to selling donuts and pouring coffee. Again. I never thought it'd come to this... but it has and I should stop the complaining and be glad that they wanted me back so badly.

So.

Random thought: as I was enjoy the summer-like weather today after work, I realized how fortunate us Canadians are for the abundance of wood that we have. May sound odd, but wood has become quite an importance in our family since we've moved to Fernie... seeing as it's how we heat our house...

And then that got me thinking about all the families in this world who use garbage as their source of fuel.

Garbage.

There's nothing better than the smell of wood crackling in the fireplace. Now compare that smell to the smell of banana peels, rotten apple cores, dirty dipers... Garbage.

It's just a thought.

78

So there's one more plane ride to take that will officially end this 78 day adventure. In these 78 days, I have had tea in a sidewalk cafe in London, hitched rides around the Mhalanya Valley, comforted bawling children, sang "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes" with child-like joy, tasted impala, walked on flooded dirt roads in barefeet, conversed with ostridges (heck I don't even know how to spell that), held precious and beautiful children, made them smile, and crossed over 17,000+ km of land and ocean. I have gone to a square dancing evening, helped out at a bottle depot raising money for Habitat for Humanity, played organ with lovely ladies who are four times my age (and I don't even play organ!), laughed myself silly over things such as almost getting my hand taken off by a slamming door, gotten a $5 haircut, learned how to make good use out of the Vancouver transit system, listened to an insanely talented musician, cheered for the Canucks, cried with the Canucks (at least I won't be missing their otherwise would-be spectacular play-off season since we don't have cable in Fernie), gone for coffee with several different friends, enjoyed the beach, reconnected with my "amazing bowling skills" (ya right!), surprised my parents and brother by greeting them at YVR, participated in the celebration of my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary... I'd say more but that's what I'm remembering at the moment...

It has been a beautiful 72 days. No matter how different they were compared to what I had in mind, the cons are buried by the pros, the confusion is cleared by the peace, and the disappointment is distinguished by the hope of a better idea; a better tomorrow.

It's the end of one adventure but really... it's just the continuation of one massive adventure. It's crazy to look back and realize how everything turned out despite those moments of panic. One thing is for sure: it's not by luck, it's not by coincidence, it's not by "playing the cards right"; it's by the grace of God. He's incredible, and I pray that my existance can somehow portray even a fraction of that.

It's time for a new start in an old place. It'll be Fernie livin' once again. Who knows for how long... but does that really matter?

And to see Tim Horton's opening its arms wide open for my return... oh the joys of being put back into those uniforms...

said with enthusiasm and a big smile on face, even if it's 5a.m: "Good morning, welcome to Tim Horton's. I can take your order when you're ready!"

See?!? I haven't lost it...

Haha.

Random last remark: Hey all you coastal people: Thanks x1000000000000.... Love ya muchly. Hugs all around, and I'll catch ya later.

Is it possible to experience jet lag one month after arriving from a foreign country? It's as if I'm back living on Swazi time. This whole week has been nothing but feeling tired in the afternoons and very much awake at midnight. Joy.

I'm hoping that the effort put into thinking about something worthwhile to write about will make me sleepy. I can't promise that what appears on here will make sense, but then again... what makes sense at 2 am?

Hmm. It's been a while since I've posted. I've been livin' coastal style for one month exactly. What do I have to show for it?

Good question.

I might not have spectacular soul-searching moments, important decisions made, or bad situations rectified to show for my "productive" month here but this is what I do have:
-Grandparents who welcomed me back by letting me live in their homes, eat their food (delicious food by the way), and get involved in their day-to-day activities
-Friends who shifted around their busy (crazily insane, actually) schedules to make room for my sudden re-appearance...
-The chance to participate in the 50th wedding anniversary of my dad's parents. It'll be much easier to be a part of this now that I'm actually on the same continent, let alone being in the same city

This all isn't how I imagined things though. I remember walking through Vancouver Airport towards my departure gate on February 6. My feet were unsteady, my hands were shaking, and my sight was blurred from tears. "This is it," I told myself. "I'm actually doing this." I remember looking down on the customs declaration area thinking, "Seven months from now, I'll be standing in that line reading the 'Welcome to Canada' sign above each customs officer. I'll be waiting in that line impatiently, knowing that the officer and the glass door is all that separates me from a happy reunion with family and friends. A whole seven months will have gone by from now until then. Woah."

Only one month after arriving in Swaziland, I was reading the 'Welcome to Canada' sign. I was waiting, along with 200 others, to officially arrive in Canada. It was hard to comprehend that I had actually left Africa. I had gone to Africa... right? Obstacle number one: getting through customs. That was achieved with me feeling faint and nauseous as I nodded numbly, answering the questions the officer was asking me. Obstacle number two: retrieving my bag. I did so with little urgency, unlike how I'd imagined me before... racing through customs, racing to get my bag, racing to walk through the glass door...

Putting my bag on my back, feeling the heaviness of it because of my travel-worn self, I walked towards the door. My feet were unsteady, my hands were shaking, and my sight was completely blurred because I was now bawling. The glass door opened; I could see the outline of a crowd of enthusiastic welcomers who had come to reunite with their loved ones. Attempting to "regain composure," I spotted my grandparents in the crowd and made my way towards them. Hugs, tears, me mumbling how "this isn't how it's supposed to be," and more tears was how I spent my first few hours back in Canada.

I thought it was all figured out. Leave in February, come back in September. I only spent one month in Africa instead of seven. What a humbling experience to say, "Yeah guys I'll be in Africa, see ya in seven months... " and then show up after being gone only one month. Ouch. But here's what people keep telling me, and here's what I'm realizing: that's still one whole month. What a blessing to be able to go back after two years and realize that Africa still has the same impact on me as it did then. That thought is all I need to keep me smiling.

Things went horribly considering what I had planned, but there's always good that comes out of the bad (Rom. 8:28). It's tough, it's frustrating, it's confusing, and sometimes I still find myself feeling like I copped out... but obviously He's got something better in mind...

When I find out what that is, I'll let ya know. Until then, I'm still waiting.



Phew. I think I'm tired now. Time for bed.

Worth A Thousand Words

I love photographs. Not only are they an image of a distinct moment, but each keeps a melody of sounds, an aroma of smells, and fingerprints of touch hidden within its array of colours. Photographs are time machines. When looked at later, everything comes back to the viewer through that one look. There is no need to use any words to explain, because as they say, "A picture is worth at thousand words."

Let It All Out- Relient K

Here's the chorus to a song that I am finding very relevant right now:

And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse.
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

ouch.

swaziland, see ya later.

Beam Me Out Scotty...

...Let's get this over with now.

I sit here in this internet cafe located in the centre of Mbabane, Swaziland trying to think of something to write. Something. Anything. Anything to ease the tension between too many thoughts in my hurting head.

Nothing feels real. I swear this has all been an illusion... an illusion of a desire and dream that hasn't been fulfilled.

People tell me that I'm returning to the land of ice and snow next week. While the Canadians are happy to have me back safe and sound, the people surrounding me here are bewildered. And me? I'm just going through with everything in one big and painful daze. I'm just confused man. Confused and hurting. I'm exhausted.

Okay, so I'm arriving back in Canada next week. What am I coming back to? I felt so relieved when I thought I had the next seven months of my life planned out. And now what? What am I supposed to do?

Man, that's too much to think about right now.

Now that I keep hearing that it's definite that I'm leaving, I just wanna get this over with. I hate having to explain to everyone what's going on, I hate looking like a weakling in their eyes, I hate this whole waiting game. If I'm made to leave, then can't I just get beamed outta here?

Scotty, did you hear me? Beam me out now man. Let's get this over with.

Week 2

Today marks my second week of being in Swaziland. Of these 14 days, I have lived 12 of them at a backpacker's hostel. Have you ever seen "The Terminal"? I don't recommend it because I found it rather boring, but it's about a guy who is stuck in an airport because he's supposedly "country-less." So he makes the airport terminal his home. Poor guy. I kinda feel like him though, just because there's all these people always coming and going, and then there's me... day in and day out living at this hostel. Rather interesting. I've met some really cool people though, and actually I've become quite the tour guide; showing them how to get downtown on kombi, getting them to help me at NCP... haha. Who knew.

Being back in Africa feels so right. Everything else feels so wrong. I hate feeling torn. I hate feeling lost. I hate thinking all the time, "Am I doing the right thing? What am I supposed to do?" Eish man.

We've had some spectacular thunderstorms lately. Last night actually got a little scary cuz the lightning sounded like gun-shots going off... the rain, the thunder... crap. Crazy stuff I tell ya.

Wish I could write about things that are more specific... more meaningful... more.... yeah I dunno. Blah.

...Ecc. 3... a time to scatter stones and a time to gather... a time to seek and a time to give up... We'll see if my seeking amounts to anything. I have a few more options left. If not, it might be time to give up. I really don't want to, but there's a part in me that's saying, "Shar you just gotta let this go." Even if being back in Africa is incredible and feels right... there are other things that are too pressing to ignore.

Just gotta let go.

Harder said then done.

"Be My Husband"

To get into Mbabane (the capital of Swaziland), we have to take a 30 minute kombi (mini-bus) ride. They're always entertaining as I stick out like a sore thumb with my oh-so-pale skin (It's getting darker, I swear! haha). Well today, the ride was a little more interesting than normal.

A guy was walking past our parked kombi, saw my white skin as well as the white skin of the volunteer sitting next to me, and hopped on with enthusiasm. Plopping himself next to me, he exclaimed, "Be my husband!" I turned my head and looked at him with bewildered eyes. "Your husband?" I asked. "Yes, be my husband. Please. I love you!" Man, this guy was serious. Too bad he had the whole gender thing mixed up. The volunteer sitting next to me said, "How much would you pay for us to be your wives?" He said, "Ah well... 50 cows. Each." Huh. So now I know that I'm worth 50 cows. I'm still not sure what to think of that. I guess in their standards that's pretty darn good.

The guy wouldn't shut-up. I just sat there listening to everything that he was saying and just shaking my head. He was pretty annoying. Good thing he wasn't on the kombi as long as we had to be. He got off, and shouted as we started driving away, "I love you! Be my husband! PLEASE!!"

Um... yeah I don't think so buddy. Even if you do eventually get the whole "wife" and "husband" thing sorted out...

Eish man.

NCP Joys and Sorrows

I volunteer five days a week at the NCP in Mahlanya, Swaziland. NCP stands for Neighborhood Care Point. The NCP is for children who can't afford to go to school. This is bad enough, but what's even worse is when some of the children went to a proper school for a couple of years, but had to drop out cuz they couldn't afford it. So bascially this is a place where orphaned children can come for a meal and education. I'd say there's about 50 kids. They range from the age of 4-16. Anyways, yesterday was really rough. I was teaching the 5-9 year olds, and they don't speak much English. Actually, that's exaggerating. They really don't speak much at all. Oh, but they know that I'm "teacher" so I'm always hearing shouts of "teacher! Teacher!" from all different directions of the room. So yeah. Yesterday was tough, because they weren't behaving well at all. It was a nightmare. Today, however; was pretty encouraging. I got them writing their letters again. And then I spent time teaching them songs like "Old McDonald" and "If you're happy and you know it." After they ate, I played with the littlest ones... singing to them, holding them... they're so precious. Sometimes very frustrating, but oh so in need of love.

There are the ups at the NCP, and there are the downs. Nonetheless, I hope I'm creating more ups there... they could use a lot more. There are moments where it looks hopeless, and there are moments where it looks like things couldn't be going better.

Although I'm still trying to find my place, as I didn't know I'd be teaching, I figure that if I can leave with the children smiling and laughing, I've done a good job. I just gotta keep putting effort into this.

Shoot I gotta run.

...Wow

So... I'm already sunburned...and this has only been my second day! Haha. Yep, it's hot here in Swaziland, but I really could care less because all that matters is I'M HERE! As soon as I walked into JoBurg airport, all I could think of was, "I'm back. Finally, I'm back." Actually, I think one of the first thoughts I had was, "It still smells the same." Haha. It's true though. It feels so good, I don't even know how to describe it. Swaziland is amazing, and sometimes I forget that I'm not in South Africa. The dirt is still red, I'm back in my good ol' flops, and just lovin' it.

Today was my first day working at the school. Uh huh. A complete shock to me... I have to teach. I love teaching, but preferably to kids that can speak some English. And here I thought I was going to be in an orphanage. This school isn't much of a school... just three rooms built really poorly. These kids lack parents, money for proper schooling, food, and attention. They're the cutest things ever... very clingy though. It's so devestating, these kids... some of them are pretty intelligent but they don't have the money so they can't continue with proper education. And, something else I found out just a little while ago is that the average age is only 27 or something like that. Man, if I could, I'd take all these kids home with me. Mom always wanted a black baby... haha.

Catch ya later. Love shar.

There She Goes...

haha. that's the song that i've had in my head since landing in london. what a cool city, at least that's what it looks like from the plane windows... too bad i can't get out there and explore, but i only have about two and a half more hours, so they said i shouldn't risk it. oh well. this airport is like a mall. actually, it reminds me a lot of amsterdam (and yeah that spelling doesn't look right). so besides the bloodshot eyes and shaky hands, it's been a blast so far. i was able to sleep somewhat on the plane ride over here, chat it up with a guy from denmark, and eat salad with a 'balsamic vinegrette.' man. what ever happened to plain old ranch dressing? haha. anyways, hope life in canada is going really well. post more later. have fun.

Over and Out

So. My stomach is in knots, my brain hurts, and I'm completely drained. BUT I'M SOOOOOO EXHILERATED!!!... haha wow.
Surrey has been completely entertaining. I never knew one could strain their voice because of laughing so hard. Huh. It has been rather strange though because everything looks so familiar yet I know I don't live here. Odd. Oh well. I'm used to feeling/getting lost so... haha :s :D
Anyways, to all my Fernieites (how do you guys spell that anyways?? huh.) : keep livin' that amazing small-town life of yours. Enjoy the snow. To all my Coastal People: from the beginning you've been incredible. Love you always.
I'll keep this thing going... I can't wait to share my first Swazi experience...
Take care folks.
Over and Out.

Walkin' On Sunshine

Ah! The smell of the sea air. It's good to be back on the coast. I've spent the last two nights in Sechelt enjoying the sunshine, amazing food, and the enjoyable company of family. But to think that last Thursday night I was at the Fernie church with the snow falling down to the ground as fast as rain does in Vancouver... compared to sitting on the sundeck today, soaking up the warmth of the sunshine! Odd but so enjoyable. Tomorrow it's gonna be all about leaving Sechelt (*sniff*) BUT I'll be spending time with friends I haven't seen since July. Oh my coastal people, how I have missed you. hee hee. It's gonna be good.

Who Would Have Ever Thought?!

So it's my 19th birthday on Saturday. Apparently, the whole town needed to know. All I can say is that I never knew I'd find my picture in the paper. Yep, my parents secretly put a picture of me in the local newspaper exclaiming, "Happy 19th Birthday Sharla!"
Ahh....
I think I'm blushing...

Putsin' Around

As of last Sunday, I have taken up the challenge of learning how to drive standard. "Wow" is about all I can say to describe the chaos of it all. Supposedly it's like playing the piano, but... yeah no. Sorry Dad, there's no way I can agree with you on that one.
Thankfully, I have improved greatly since last week. I think the car is glad of that too. Now instead of accidently shifting to fifth from second, I actually remember that third is supposed to come way before I even start thinking about fifth. (For those of you who understand standard, you know what I mean... the position of third compared to the position of fifth...??) Yeah whatever.
Anyway, as I've lived in Fernie for over six months now, I've noticed that there is a lot of local jargon that is thrown around here and there. One such word is putsin. And this usually refers to drivers. And lately it's been referring to me. Need I say more?
I have six days left. Some moments I feel as if I'm just putsin' through, and at other moments I feel as if time couldn't go any faster. It's odd. Then again, it wouldn't be life if it wasn't odd and unusual...

-Daisy Pants
(Yeah don't ask. Sometimes even I don't dare to ask Kait where she gets her ideas from...)
haha.

Just Waiting.

There is no here. There is no there. If you were to ask me where I am right now, I'd tell you that I must be nowhere because I'm not sure where I am. I feel as if I'm stuck between two places, two ideas, and two lives. I'm just waiting.
I'm waiting for the only goal I have right now: Africa. I'm waiting to quit my job, I'm waiting to leave Fernie, I'm waiting to go down and visit my coastal people, I'm waiting to leave Canada. I'm waiting to call Swaziland and South Africa my new home. I'm just waiting.

eish.